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Tomáš Chvátal posted on Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:13:49 +0100 as excerpted: |
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> Thanks for help :] |
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It sounds a bit too chatty/informal for a news item to me. Also, a few |
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phrases look unusual to my native English eye. Suggestions included, |
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YMMV as they say. |
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|
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> Title: KDE3 will be masked and removed from portage |
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|
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s/will be/to be/ |
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KDE3 to be masked... looks more "proper". |
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> Author: Samuli Suominen <ssuominen@g.o> |
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> Author: Tomáš Chvátal <scarabeus@g.o> |
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> Content-Type: text/plain |
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> Posted: 2009-10-29 |
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> Revision: 1 |
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> News-Item-Format: 1.0 |
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> Display-If-Installed: <kde-base/kdelibs-4 |
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> |
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> Please turn your KDE radio on, and make sure to turn the volume to its |
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> maximum level for this important message. |
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|
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I'd cut that. It's appropriate for the front-page, but consider, by the |
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time they read it as a news item, they will have seen the warning from |
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their PM, and will already have "turned their radio on" so to speak. So |
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it seems strange for a news item. At least to me. |
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> After multiple setbacks we have finally managed to stabilise KDE4 on |
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> both major desktop architectures (amd64 and x86), where other teams are |
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> to follow. |
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|
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... with other teams to follow. |
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|
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> This means that those of you who still use KDE3 should start considering |
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> an upgrade right away, due to various reasons. [1] |
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|
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Initial thought was s/due to/for/, but that still doesn't sound right. I |
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believe it's because "This means" indicates that the reasons have already |
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been outlined, so the "due to various reasons" just doesn't fit. "This |
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means" is also repeated just below, so how about removing it here, like |
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so? |
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|
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For this and other reasons as discussed at [1], those of you who still |
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use KDE3 should be considering an upgrade in the near future. |
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|
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> The KDE3 support is being dropped with immediate effect. This means that |
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> ebuilds are dropping KDE3 support where they were broken, or clashing |
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> with KDE4. |
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|
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Effective immediately, KDE3 support is being dropped. This means that |
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KDE3 ebuilds that clash with KDE4 or are broken are being removed. |
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|
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> Kde packages are moved to special overlay named as kde3 in layman. Note |
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> that this overlay is going to be user maintained and not developer |
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> reviewed. [2] |
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|
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Based on a previous comment, I believe it's unbroken packages being |
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moved. Broken ones are being simply dropped. Does that need stated or |
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has that changed? Splitting that first sentence in half seems clearer to |
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me as well, and I change the wording of the second sentence slightly, as |
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well. So: |
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|
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Unbroken KDE3 packages will be moved to a special overlay named kde3. |
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This can be found in layman. Note that this overlay is going to be user |
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maintained and will not be developer reviewed. [2] |
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|
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You may wish to emphasize that last warning in caps (or not)... |
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|
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... WILL NOT BE DEVELOPER REVIEWED. |
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|
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[The rest looks fine to me.] |
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|
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Thus, all the changes together without the commentary (add the apology at |
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the end, which I omit here for space). Again, YMMV, feel free to take |
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what you like and reject the rest, or just reject all of it, for that |
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matter. |
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|
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------ |
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|
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Title: KDE3 will be masked and removed from portage |
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|
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[other headers unchanged, omit the radio on line] |
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|
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After multiple setbacks we have finally managed to stabilise KDE4 on |
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both major desktop architectures (amd64 and x86), with other teams to |
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follow. |
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|
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For this and other reasons as discussed at [1], those of you who still |
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use KDE3 should be considering an upgrade in the near future. |
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|
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Effective immediately, KDE3 support is being dropped. This means that |
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KDE3 ebuilds that clash with KDE4 or are broken are being removed. |
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|
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Unbroken KDE3 packages will be moved to a special overlay named kde3. |
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This can be found in layman. Note that this overlay is going to be user |
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maintained and WILL NOT BE DEVELOPER REVIEWED. [2] |
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|
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[rusty/apology and refs as-is] |
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|
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------- |
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|
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-- |
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Duncan - List replies preferred. No HTML msgs. |
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"Every nonfree program has a lord, a master -- |
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and if you use the program, he is your master." Richard Stallman |