[gentoo-user] Me, and how to troll LIKE A BOSS.

[Alan Grimes]

Hello, Let me introduce myself again.

I'm 38.

I have no job,

I have not had a job in 4 years.

I can't get a job because I have not had job in 4 years.

Literally, nobody will hire me.

My computer is six years old. All I want it to do is just keep working
the way it did last week.

My health has been declining because I can't afford to take care of myself.

I have no social life either.

I would like to do more with my computer but it is a constant battle of
treading water.

That's why I have zero tolerance for the shit I've been taking from
Gentoo recently. =|




Now, about my trolling style.


The #1 secret of trolling is don't do the trolling yourself. The most
powerful troll possible is to engineer a chain reaction on a list and
then use the most well engineered provocation possible to set it off
then go silent. Your silence establishes an echo-chamber effect that can
amplify to very satisfying levels without putting yourself at risk of
being banned. The problem is that I allowed myself to become enraged to
the point of being completely livid, and I responded to one of the damn
penguins. That's what got me banned.

Okay, so how do you engineer a good trigger? Well, the best triggers
come from a core of sincerity. There will not be a reaction if the
message does not come from a genuine earnestness. It helps if you put
several days of research into the subject you are trolling about,
actually make an effort to solve your problems on your own. Work at it
enough to feel frustrated and begin to suspect a conspiracy is trying to
hide information from you. When you reach this point, you are ready to
troll.

Lets take an example. I wanted to write my own OS for many years, that
was nothing like Linux because linux sucks balls.
Did then; does now; will tomorrow too. Now you can do it assembler.
Really, you can! =P -- But that's not sane.

So you want to be able to use your regular compilers. Of course the
compilers were written assuming that they will never run on or target
any operating system that doesn't work Just Like Unix.

The books on operating systems won't help you.

The books on compilers won't tell you how to re-target GCC.

The GCC manuals, at least ten years ago, were shit.

The answers you need are in this book, now free, called "Linkers &
Loaders" by Levine.

This actually gives you the historical and theoretical perspective of on
how this motherfucker actually works.

Actually, the most useful information is from a whitepaper by Intel
about the ELF file format.

Now putting all this together and getting GCC and your loader working
together would require a degree of OCD well beyond my own.

But what Levine did was basically write down a body of knowledge from a
secret oral tradition that is not accessible to people not in the club.
This secret oral tradition, evidently, covers massive volumes of
information that periodically bytes me on the ass when I can't get shit
compiled. Try it. Think of something you can't do, try to look it up,
then talk to some BASH aficionado/VI user... He might say something
terse that might solve it but doesn't really help you because you can't
write it down fast enough to remember it or, if you did, have no hope of
understanding what's actually going on...

Alternatively, if you are one of the initiates, think of the trickiest
thing you did yesterday. Where is it written down how to do it? How in
the hell would someone go about learning that? Well, they would ask
you... Which is why they resent you so much... Because they (and me)
know I'm not getting the most out of my machine because The manpages
were written for people who already knew the fucking answer, it's just a
reminder of the syntax, so no there really is no way to learn most of
this shit.

Anyway, you're frustrated, so now it's time to flame, rather, flame
*bait*. Go directly to the core of your frustration. Observe how I
started my latest troll. I talked about how the penguins waddle around
telling you that you're doing it wrong. The next twenty posts were
examples of penguins waddling around telling me that I'm doing it wrong.
So yes, I nailed them hard. So yeah, you need to research pretty hard to
find what will make them squeal.

It's like playing darts or archery, the better your aim, the higher your
score. If you land one in their back yard, they will flame you, which
will trigger a cascade, which means you can get out your lawn chair and
an iced tea.

Once you do this successfully once, the group will become hot-wired and
your next one will be more effective because your previous one
fertilized the ground.

Another critical point is the frequency of trolling. The ideal frequency
is not less than about 4 months and not more than about 9 months, the
fertilization effect probably doesn't last more than 18 months or so. If
you time it right, a new phenomenon occours, the Voice of God effect.
It's like when people expect to hear you say something, and then have to
wait several weeks for you to speak, the effect of what you actually say
is amplified.

So yeah, if you can combine the echo chamber effect, with the
fertilization effect, and the voice of god effect, you can troll LIKE A
BOSS!!!



-- 
IQ is a measure of how stupid you feel.

Powers are not rights.